Mom is Shopping for a New Truck

"Party-vi" (party-vi) 07/06/2017 at 18:45 • Filed to: None

1

100

Everything is Line-X

Her heart is currently set on a Rocky Ridge Stealth XL. I had no idea you could buy a pre-assembled bro truck these days. Can you think of a better way to spend $70,000?

For Sweden > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 18:46

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Yes. 10 used Volvo S80s

HammerheadFistpunch > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 18:47

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“Can you think of a better way to spend $70,000?”

is this a trick question?

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > For Sweden 07/06/2017 at 18:47

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Probably with money left over to maintain them. Spare parts and cash for days.

HammerheadFistpunch > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 18:48

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With an eye to actual off roading (I know, this wont) there are so many questions here.

fintail > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 18:48

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File under “more money than sense”? :)

Captain of the Enterprise > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 18:49

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Wow I don’t like that truck at all. I’d rather pay off my student loan debt be able to cover the rest of my college tuition and pay to move out for the rest of my college life.

Captain of the Enterprise > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 18:50

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Wow I don’t like that truck at all. I’d rather pay off my student loan debt be able to cover the rest of my college tuition and pay to move out for the rest of my college life.

Monkey B > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 18:50

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One of my dealers has a used one of these in red, I laughed at the notion of putting a sticker that says “stealth” on something that looks like that. But if she really wants one I imagine they’d give her a nice buy.

It’s clean, ask for Frank and tell em B sent ya.

Here it is

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 18:50

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Hookers and cocaine.

haveacarortwoorthree2 > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 18:53

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On the one hand, go mom! OTOH, WTF mom?

interstate366, now In The Industry > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 18:53

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I can think of dozens of better ways to spend $70,000. And not all of them have to do with cars.

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 18:53

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1 E38 parts car,a C5 z06, 5 Jeep YJs, 3 volvo 240s, and a k5 blazer. The remaining change I’ll use to buy everyone here burgers.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 18:55

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I wouldn’t want to say anything unkind about your mother...her taste, on the other hand...

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > interstate366, now In The Industry 07/06/2017 at 18:57

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Beer and preludes.

interstate366, now In The Industry > unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) 07/06/2017 at 18:58

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Bruh I just bought a fancy Accord

Birddog > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 18:59

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“Can you think of a better way to spend $70,000?”

Yeah. There’s a house on a double lot two blocks away. But that wouldn’t be as entertaining as a Mom driving a bro truck. Not even close.

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > interstate366, now In The Industry 07/06/2017 at 19:00

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Beak boi

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 19:01

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2017 BMW 540i, nicely optioned of course with some money to spare

interstate366, now In The Industry > unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) 07/06/2017 at 19:03

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That’s manual beak boi

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Birddog 07/06/2017 at 19:04

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You make me sad. Around here 70,000 would get you the driveway to that house... if that

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 07/06/2017 at 19:05

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Around here it might pave that driveway, but you’d have to pay for the land under it.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 19:08

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Someone I know almost went this route. He decided against it and was going for a Raptor when he decided that his dog looked big in the Raptor. So he bought an F250 King Ranch. No I don’t understand how a Raptor was too small for a 60 pound dog.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 19:09

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Bruh, http://m.autotrader.com/cars-for-sale/searchresults.xhtml?&zip=41042&endYear=2018&interiorColorsSimple=&pageLayout=list&mpgRanges=&mmt=%5BMB%5B%5D%5BG_CLASS%5B%5D%5D%5D&transmissionGroup=&doorCodes=&vehicleStyleCodes=&driveGroup=&fuelTypeGroup=&startYear=1981&listingFeatures=&engineGroup=&extColorsSimple=&searchRadius=0&bodyStyleSubtypeCodes=

EL_ULY > For Sweden 07/06/2017 at 19:09

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or 1 new S90 Inscription T8

Birddog > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 07/06/2017 at 19:10

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Flyover states have their advantages and disadvantages. Cost of living is a big advantage.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 19:12

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If she must have a lifted truck, DO NOT BUY ONE OF THESE. They use cheap parts. Buy a stock truck, get it good lift, and install it a local shop. It will cost a lot less money.

jkm7680 > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 19:15

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Somebody who lives near me has a Ram 1500 that looks similar to that, may be the same company.

Maximum bro truck points for sure.

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo 07/06/2017 at 19:15

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“540i”

No v8 or 6 speed manual. 0/10 - stupid badge designation

Steve in Manhattan > For Sweden 07/06/2017 at 19:21

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Pristine 240DL wagons. Lots.

deprecated account > unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) 07/06/2017 at 19:22

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THANK YOU THIS IS SO TRUE IT MAKES ME ANGERY

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > deprecated account 07/06/2017 at 19:23

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BRING BACK MECHANICAL WATER PUMPS AND TEMP GAUGES BMW

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) 07/06/2017 at 19:24

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7 decent E39 manual 540is with either the Sport or M Sport package for $70k*

Or you could buy like 3 V6 Mustangs for the price of that.

Spridget > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 19:29

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Converting it all to pennies, then setting those pennies on fire in the middle of the national mall while yelling “Allah Akbar!” would be a better use of money than that.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo 07/06/2017 at 19:34

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With bad driving dynamics, and built to be leased.

deprecated account > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 19:43

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Like, really though??

CaptDale - is secretly British > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 19:48

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You could get a Black Widow GMC Sierra (since GMC > Chevy)

We sold these for a while. They actually are not that bad for a pre fab bro truck

2017 GMC Sierra 1500 Black Widow Z71 4WD $63,497

Nibbles > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 19:49

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A 2500 Denali is about $70k and is eight-times the truck the monstrosity pictured above is

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > CaptDale - is secretly British 07/06/2017 at 19:59

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I really like the off the self universal push bar

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 20:00

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Literally any other way?

McMike > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 20:00

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4/5

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 20:03

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Have the look of a modified vehicle without the hastle of picking out parts to express your personal tastes

CaptDale - is secretly British > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 07/06/2017 at 20:07

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But it is a custom bar.... don’t you see the insert..... (sarcasm)

RPM esq. > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 20:10

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Several, yes, but few as impressive as your presumably middle-aged mother driving that hideous thing around.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > CaptDale - is secretly British 07/06/2017 at 20:23

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It also blocks the front plate, which could get you pulled over

nermal > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 20:25

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Go with the AEV option, either in 1500 or 2500 trim. Pretty much everything about them is a bajillion times better than a Rocky Ridge.

CaptDale - is secretly British > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 07/06/2017 at 20:26

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No one would pull over a little old lady in that. Plus There is a cut out in it for that actually. I don’t remember them having issues with that here.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 20:33

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A fully optioned Sierra 1500 Denali Ultimate comes to mind.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > CaptDale - is secretly British 07/06/2017 at 21:03

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Yeah front plate issues rarely get noticed but I have gotten pulled over for not having one visable. But the cop let me go when he saw it was on my dashboard.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > HammerheadFistpunch 07/06/2017 at 21:04

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Starting with “why is there a light bar where the wench should be?”

HammerheadFistpunch > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 07/06/2017 at 21:32

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Who need a winch so long as you can see what got you stuck

awmaster10 > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 22:14

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Holy shit $70k for a bedlined truck? Thats what you do to old beaters when theyre rusting out not a brand new truck that costs as much as a z06

The Snowman > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 22:42

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That looks like a giant turd.

Party-vi > The Snowman 07/06/2017 at 23:16

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I know. It’s fugly. She wants a new truck and my dad has ruined her taste with a bro-ified Silverado 1500 already (Rockstar wheels, mild lift, exhaust, etc.).

Party-vi > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 07/06/2017 at 23:17

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She wants something to make men jealous and beat off road. I told her to get a Rubicon.

Party-vi > nermal 07/06/2017 at 23:18

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I think the dealer they went to sold them on the Rocky Ridge people. I’m hoping they don’t dump that much money into it.

Party-vi > RPM esq. 07/06/2017 at 23:18

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She’ll be driving this until her ‘68 Goat is restored.

Party-vi > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 07/06/2017 at 23:19

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Bingo. That, or dad says this one is cool and mom like the winch and lift.

Party-vi > McMike 07/06/2017 at 23:19

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I think bought not built makes this a solid 5/5

Party-vi > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 07/06/2017 at 23:20

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She was almost sold on an RS5 but she finds it uncomfortable.

Party-vi > Nibbles 07/06/2017 at 23:20

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She says a 2500 is too big, but that is her dream truck.

Party-vi > CaptDale - is secretly British 07/06/2017 at 23:21

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I can dig that better than the Stealth, but it would need murdered out.

Party-vi > deprecated account 07/06/2017 at 23:21

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Seriously. They looked at them this weekend and she asked me what I thought. I told her to at least get one with a supercharger.

Party-vi > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 07/06/2017 at 23:22

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She wants a one-stop-shop solution to her bro truck desires.

Party-vi > BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo 07/06/2017 at 23:22

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As a lover of the roundel, that thing is hideous. Makes me long for the E60.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 23:23

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But this is how stuff breaks on the highway.

Party-vi > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 07/06/2017 at 23:23

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She’s a Navy Chief and has a ‘68 GTO in storage. I think she’s earned one questionable truck decision.

Party-vi > Captain of the Enterprise 07/06/2017 at 23:24

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It’s hard to look at.

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 23:25

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Me right now:

Party-vi > For Sweden 07/06/2017 at 23:25

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Only if they have 8 cylinders.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 23:34

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Fair enough.

Captain of the Enterprise > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 23:34

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Yeah, it really is.

deprecated account > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 23:35

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Well, hell yeah, man! Why not go all out?

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > Party-vi 07/06/2017 at 23:38

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Denali

Nibbles > Party-vi 07/07/2017 at 00:05

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It’s technically the same size as a 1500 and would ride better than the brofest. Better economy too

His Stigness > Party-vi 07/07/2017 at 00:40

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I’m so glad I have some unique and evil power over my mom and can get her to buy whatever I want her to get. I do try and be nice and keep her needs in mind, but it’s quite easy to get the car I like. I guess it helps I’m her detailer and repair tech so my power has merit.

McMike > Party-vi 07/07/2017 at 05:27

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I withheld the last one because there are no obnoxious graphics.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Party-vi 07/07/2017 at 06:23

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get her into a Chevy SS

CaptDale - is secretly British > Party-vi 07/07/2017 at 11:03

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aGREE

boxrocket > Party-vi 07/07/2017 at 12:37

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S80s and XC90s both came with V8s...

boxrocket > Party-vi 07/07/2017 at 12:39

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...why not just get a Raptor?

Party-vi > boxrocket 07/07/2017 at 13:03

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Mom will not suffer a blue oval in her driveway.

Party-vi > boxrocket 07/07/2017 at 13:05

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only one S80 had a V8.

Silent Bob > Party-vi 07/07/2017 at 15:29

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She wants that unsightly thing instead?

Party-vi > Silent Bob 07/07/2017 at 15:34

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Hey I never said it was right.

Silent Bob > Party-vi 07/07/2017 at 15:43

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I was just astonished. I really don’t get the super strong brand loyalty in America.

Party-vi > Silent Bob 07/07/2017 at 15:51

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It is less brand loyalty and more of her last Ford product left a bad taste in her mouth.

Silent Bob > Party-vi 07/07/2017 at 15:56

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Ok. Well, I hope you manage to steer her clear of this brodozer then.

boxrocket > Party-vi 07/07/2017 at 23:10

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That’s a shame. Best trucks on the planet. Admittedly, the newer GMs are a lot better than they used to be, but they also had the most to improve. I’d still get a fragile Ram or awkward-looking Tundra or Titan before a GM truck though.

boxrocket > Party-vi 07/07/2017 at 23:13

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They offered it for a couple of years or so, ditto the XC90. Makes me curious if one could shoehorn one into an S60/V70's engine bay since they can take the 3.2L I6

Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction > Party-vi 07/12/2017 at 09:13

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Yes, drink 70.000 one dollar coffees, or give shitty tips to 700.000 waiters, anything but getting such a terrible looking bro-truck, also, the wheels don’t fit the car at all.

Or she could buy this

Or this, and 34.000$ worth of fuel

Party-vi > Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction 07/12/2017 at 09:33

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We talked about it yesterday and I mentioned the Tundra has more power than the Silverado, and she said she wants to buy a truck with a lift and tires already installed. I’m slowly convincing her to go for a K2

Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction > Party-vi 07/12/2017 at 10:10

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Appart from looks, which is subjective, since shapes and colors... why would anyone want this?

Party-vi > Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction 07/12/2017 at 11:28

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The K2? It’s a package-deal bro truck. She is all about aggressive looks for her truck. Her current Silverado has a small lift and leveling kit, and bro wheels so the K2 is right up her alley. The Stealth XL was her pick for the 6" lift and winch-ready front bumper.

Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction > Party-vi 07/12/2017 at 12:03

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This one looks tame in comparaison

Party-vi > Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction 07/12/2017 at 12:10

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Trust me - if she could fit 20" wheels and 35" tires on it, it would have them. She’s also got subs, speakers, a big ol amp, and pounds of Dynamat.

Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction > Party-vi 07/12/2017 at 12:22

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So what you’re saying is she is stuck in 2001

Party-vi > Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction 07/12/2017 at 12:35

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Juuuust about. She also requires mud tires at all times.

Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction > Party-vi 07/12/2017 at 12:38

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Hey she’s offroad in that picture above! But she actually uses the pick-up bed, is that just prop?

Party-vi > Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction 07/12/2017 at 12:40

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I wish - that was about 1,500lb of wall block for their yard. She does camp with it about every other weekend, but it’s mostly for her ego - she wants a badass looking truck.

Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction > Party-vi 07/12/2017 at 12:58

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At least it isn’t a mall crawler